My heart was beating against my chest like an angry tenant banging on the wall of a noisy neighbour. As the needles pierced my skin, I thought, I can’t believe I am doing this. Doing it now. Today.
I had two tattoos already. Both of which I had gotten in my early 20’s. I don’t regret them, since they represent my impulsive nature of the time, but they don’t have significant meaning.
I always knew I would get more tattoos. I love them. I love the artistry. I love the significance. In my early 40’s, the idea of a new tattoo re-surfaced. But I was going to wait until I had a vision.
I love books. I love quotes. I love words. About a year ago, an image of a word tattoo popped into my mind.
Whenever I thought about my four favorite words, one of which is ‘create’, I burst into tears. What’s up with that? I wasn’t sure, other than, clearly it had an impact. Was I not getting enough creativity? Did I want more creativity? Did I need more creativity?
Create. Create my business life. My working life. My personal life. What does creativity mean? It means growth. It means change. It means ….?
Tattoos of ‘create’ swirled around my head. I knew I wanted it somewhere where I could see it. All the time. Everyday. I create stories with my right hand. Yet, I can also create my ideal meal. Create my ideal day. Create my book. Create my life.
Create. That was it it. Then what? What design? As I want to be a writer, an old school typewriter font sprang to mind. That was it! ‘Create’ in a typewriter font. Right wrist. I saw it.
I had created the vision of my next tattoo and then I waited until the place and timing was right.
I checked out various tattoo places in Vancouver and Liquid Amber Tattoo was one of them. It’s in Gastown. I love Gastown. I have thought about moving to Gastown. It is a company started by women and focused on women artists. As a woman entrepreneur, I loved that.
I had the vision, I had the place. Why was I not making it happen? If I got honest about it, I was hesitant because I knew it was going to be an emotional experience. I might burst into goddamn tears right there in the studio! Not because of pain, but because of the deep sense of joy that comes from doing what was always meant to be done. I was hesitant to show my vulnerability.
For whatever reason, or perhaps, for a variety of reasons, June 9th was the day. I was ready. I already had an unbelievable morning which started with an amazing walk with my dog. It was sunny. I had Temper Trap in the CD player. These are things on my Awesome List that instantly put me in bliss mode.
I drove downtown, parked and walked into the shop. My intention was to check it out, and if I had a good gut feeling, I was going to commit.
Luvia and Rene were seated at the welcome area and were awesome. They answered my questions and Rene printed off a stencil for me to see. Perfect, I loved it. I wanted it done right away and luckily, she was available.
About 20 minutes later she was done. I looked at my new wrist. Create. It was like it was always meant to be there. Like I wasn’t surprised it was there and yet, completely overjoyed that it was. I got instructions on the after care and left the shop.
A few minutes later, I was driving across the Second Narrows bridge and as I glanced at my bandaged wrist, my chest tightened as tears clung to the edge of my lower lids. I had permanently inked ‘create’ on my body and I experienced a deep sense of joy, contentment and, fulfillment. I couldn’t even see my tattoo under the bandages yet the vision of it was so strong, that I saw it and knew it was there.
© 2011 Michelle Sevigny. www.michellesevigny.com. Reprint permission granted with full copyright intact.
Photo by Michelle Sevigny